Ok, so I've been on a long break for a while now. Too many distractions with the baggage of daily living. Now it's the month of love and giving - valentine love so to speak!
It's a month in the year that I cherish so much partly because it's my birthday month but mainly as it's the month where love and benevolence is celebrated in the spirit of valentine.
I love to give to others and help in whatever way I can. It is my mantra to give and keep giving of myself, my time, attention, concern and even money to those who need it whenever and however i can.
It's just me and I never get tired of being that way so much so that many wonder why I have to be that way. I just smile and tell them I just love to be there for others. I see it as the little part I can play in bringing joy to others. It does give me great joy too whenever I can help put a smile on someone's face.
However lately I'm beginning to ask myself how much one should give, what is too much and when should a line be drawn. I've often felt that I can never get tired of being that way. However experience over time has shown that indeed one can change one's stance totally.
Months back I went out of my way to open up my home to someone in dire need of accommodation. I had spare rooms and I felt I could do with company anyway I reeled out the things I did not like and at the same time I was very flexible and tolerated many things that I ordinarily would not and now with benefit of hindsight I realize I should not have.
There were minor hiccups here and there in the arrangement but at the time I felt I could overlook them. However overtime the things I had reeled out more or less as conditions based on things I didn't like were being perpetrated over and over again. Many times I would open up, warn and talk about it. Other times I would look away till it got to a head and I could not take anymore. I simply put an end to the arrangement.
Now in situations like this, people use all the tricks in the book from some sort of emotional blackmail, to pleading, making empty promises that you now know are mere words, to using words that make you almost look bad and feeling guilty for doing what you know deep down is the right and best decision you could take in that circumstance.
They make you question your position rather than search their heart for what their real motives really are behind the pleas for mercy.
What is the point of all this?
The question arises as to when giving is essential, is it a thing of continuity or should it be measured in doses or given randomly, indefinitely, based on conditions or circumstance? Should you continue to give your time, attention, concern or money at your own inconvenience or even when at your own mental physical and emotional detriment?
Really, when is giving and being a giving person too much and should you measure the level of
giving to and sharing with others in any and all ways?
The high point of all this for me is to keep being a caring person however lines must be drawn when you realize that virtue is being taken for granted and perhaps you are being trampled upon in any way. Don't draw lines on being charitable but end the line to acts of selfishness self-centeredness from others.
For me giving is not just the act of giving but being joyful in doing so.
When the joy starts to wane, when being that way makes you pained and upset more so out of inconsiderate behavior from people then perhaps the journey to that point needs to be reassessed.
For me, giving is not about getting in return or to be praised and idolized for being that way. It's all about making someone happy and feeling simply blessed. When all you begin to get vibes that you are being shortchanged and not regarded or used or you find yourself at a place where people just keep taking and are not concerned about what that act of taking entails in terms of their attitude and actions, at that level it's pertinent to decide whether too much of something has been going on and if its worth going on.
It's a month in the year that I cherish so much partly because it's my birthday month but mainly as it's the month where love and benevolence is celebrated in the spirit of valentine.
I love to give to others and help in whatever way I can. It is my mantra to give and keep giving of myself, my time, attention, concern and even money to those who need it whenever and however i can.
It's just me and I never get tired of being that way so much so that many wonder why I have to be that way. I just smile and tell them I just love to be there for others. I see it as the little part I can play in bringing joy to others. It does give me great joy too whenever I can help put a smile on someone's face.
However lately I'm beginning to ask myself how much one should give, what is too much and when should a line be drawn. I've often felt that I can never get tired of being that way. However experience over time has shown that indeed one can change one's stance totally.
Months back I went out of my way to open up my home to someone in dire need of accommodation. I had spare rooms and I felt I could do with company anyway I reeled out the things I did not like and at the same time I was very flexible and tolerated many things that I ordinarily would not and now with benefit of hindsight I realize I should not have.
There were minor hiccups here and there in the arrangement but at the time I felt I could overlook them. However overtime the things I had reeled out more or less as conditions based on things I didn't like were being perpetrated over and over again. Many times I would open up, warn and talk about it. Other times I would look away till it got to a head and I could not take anymore. I simply put an end to the arrangement.
Now in situations like this, people use all the tricks in the book from some sort of emotional blackmail, to pleading, making empty promises that you now know are mere words, to using words that make you almost look bad and feeling guilty for doing what you know deep down is the right and best decision you could take in that circumstance.
They make you question your position rather than search their heart for what their real motives really are behind the pleas for mercy.
What is the point of all this?
The question arises as to when giving is essential, is it a thing of continuity or should it be measured in doses or given randomly, indefinitely, based on conditions or circumstance? Should you continue to give your time, attention, concern or money at your own inconvenience or even when at your own mental physical and emotional detriment?
Really, when is giving and being a giving person too much and should you measure the level of
giving to and sharing with others in any and all ways?
The high point of all this for me is to keep being a caring person however lines must be drawn when you realize that virtue is being taken for granted and perhaps you are being trampled upon in any way. Don't draw lines on being charitable but end the line to acts of selfishness self-centeredness from others.
For me giving is not just the act of giving but being joyful in doing so.
When the joy starts to wane, when being that way makes you pained and upset more so out of inconsiderate behavior from people then perhaps the journey to that point needs to be reassessed.
For me, giving is not about getting in return or to be praised and idolized for being that way. It's all about making someone happy and feeling simply blessed. When all you begin to get vibes that you are being shortchanged and not regarded or used or you find yourself at a place where people just keep taking and are not concerned about what that act of taking entails in terms of their attitude and actions, at that level it's pertinent to decide whether too much of something has been going on and if its worth going on.
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