SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS???

Sometime ago, i attended a function. It was a landmark birthday celeberation of an uncle and the family decided to mark the day in a ceremonial yet subtle manner.

He wanted to celebrate his day with a thankful heart in the midst of family close friends and colleagues. It indeed was a lovely fun filled party of less than hundred guests.
Fast forward to a few days after when i was opportuned to hear a different version of guests or some guests views about the party.

It seemed some felt the party was not befitting of the status of the celebrant. This group of guests felt a big party should have been held to celebrate. They postmortemed everything from the choice of hall down to the programme of events and order of thanksgiving service held for the celebrant which in their opinion was demeaning!

This group of guests would have preferred a carnival party busting at it seems with endless sea of guests many of whom would probably not have any relationship with the celebrant and most likely friends of friends ,hangers on and gate crashers.

These people seemed to want endless millions drowned into a party as a status symbol to prove a point to God knows who, an overcrowded party with loud blaring music , overwhelming number of guests struggling to get decent refreshments maybe, tired irritable ushers, people pretending to have fun in the midst of tight seating arrangements, blaring headache inducing music and back stabbers having a field day criticising everything they could yet pretend to be friends of the family.

They wanted colorful birthday party programs and booklets detailing the celebrants autobiography, they wanted many things to have been in place at the party!
Yet these same set of people ate assorted meals n drinks and enjoyed themselves at the party and made a great show of solidarity to the celebrant and his family!
I felt pained at heart!

Did it occut to these set of people that the celebrant and his family marked his birthday in the way and manner they wanted to, were happy and comfortable doing and even could afford to?

That brought various questions to my mind about societal norms and standards. Must we all celebrate our birthdays in a grand way? Even if we could afford a carnival and preffered not to have one, is that belittling or not befitting?

Do we need societal nods and approval for the things we choose to do such as how we chose to celebrate anything?

These set of people never cared to consider the celebrants reason for doing a small lovely party. They didn't think of anything else beyond what they wanted and would have liked to see at the party forgetting that its not their party and they could have stayed away on realising that it would not be a grand event!

I shudder to think that supposed friends , family and colleagues who should have ones back and support one in everyway chose to backbite those they profess as friends n family despite attending the party eating and drinking and enjoying the music!

the question is would they have contributed a dime to make the party grand if approached to do so?

would they not be the first to say why hold a grand party if u can not afford to host one?

i am sure the list of criticisims would have been endless if a carnival party had been staged.

why cant we support one another's choices in anything. why must we follow the societal trend to get approval for anything?

we are all individuals and have the right to make our choices to my mind so far what we choose to do is not outright evil, sinful, immoral or bad.

these people did not care to think that spending money might not have been the issue nor lack of it other than what those who held the party wanted and were happy doing.
if anyone chooses to be flamboyant and loud in anything or quiet and simple in anything, it's their prerogative to be that way or do things that way.

that we appear boisterous and loud does not mean we are actually that way deep down. if we're big business people or wealthy does not mean we want to live a frivolous and flashy lifestyle.

it's all a matter of choice which should be respected. after all there are those who cannot afford to live expensive lifestyles and get into all manner of debts to sustain it yet people celebrate them even if they gossip about them.

it's all still a matter of choice that should be regarded.
for me i felt it was bad behaviour to honour an invite , eat drink, dance and  not have anything good to say about the event especially if you are close to the hosts. it smirks of disloyalty and bad taste.

if for instance something was not going right at a friends event or if the celebrant had a wardrobe malfunction, as a friend you should be on hand to assist and make sure areas that can be corrected are done to make the day successful instead of backstabbing your friend.

and if anything is not the way you think it should be, you can simply find out why and respect the views of whoever is hosting whatever.

if you happen to attend an event and it turns out small yet enjoyable contrary to what you expected, enjoy the event and be glad for those who organised it.
we should respect the views and preferences of others and whatever decision or stand they take on anything and as friends we should support other friends not demean them and especially behind their back.

that the society today favours loud flamboyant ways of doing things does not mean the trend wont change another time and it most certainly does not mean we have to follow societal norms or please others at the expense of what we want, or are comfortable and happy doing.